You had me at 'Hello' ~

...sort of.

I love telling our love story. I love the way I can look back and see God's hand all over it.

Before I begin, though, I must start out by saying we are not perfect people. We are both very stubborn individuals who most of the time think we are right. Our core values are the same, we both love the same God, we both believe the same politically and we love our family. I tend to run my mouth while he thinks about what he wants to say before he says it. I tend to yell, this makes him crazy. We both love Mexican food, but I can't get him to eat Asian food to save my life (even on my birthday.) My healthy ways drive him nuts and I wish he would quit dipping snuff. See, no perfection here.

But lets back up about 16 years when we were both under the illusion that the other had descended from heaven on the wings of a snow white dove...ahhh. Those were the good old days. You remember them right? Those first few glances at each other in hopes that the person sitting across from you felt the same. And knowing beyond all certainty that you had found your one true love who would make all your dreams come true.

We met while I was working at my dad's CPA office. I remember the day perfectly. I had just called off my engagement with a guy I had dated on and off for 7 years. I felt like a new person with all kinds of possibilities before me. I remember R and his dad walking in the office. R's dad was curious as to why I was so happy. I told him. R says he wanted to ask me out that day, but didn't think the timing was right. :)

Fast forward 9 months and R's back in the office; this time ready to ask me if I would like to go on a date. I still remember the red GAP sweatshirt I was wearing that day (I still have it btw) and I'm pretty sure my face turned as red as that sweater. I said 'yes' we went out to eat and to a movie. For the life of me I can't remember what movie we saw. I do remember our second date the next night. We went to see Braveheart. I remember going to the bathroom, looking in the mirror and thinking, "I can't do this. I'm not ready for another relationship."

Five months and many phone calls later, R finally told me he was done. If I wanted to talk to him, I could call  him. Fine by me, or so I thought. That summer my sister and I moved from a house to an apartment and needed help moving the fridge. Here's what she said to me, " You know you could call R and get him to help us move the fridge. He has called you and wants to be your friend; you never call him back. You just don't treat your friends that way." So I started feeling bad for the way I was treating him and decided to call. I don't know why, but he said he would help us. I fell in love while watching him move a fridge...

I watched every step he took and saw something I had overlooked before. I saw someone who was willing to help me even after I had treated him like pooh. I saw a take charge, organized, "get it done" kind of guy. To this day he is the same person. When he decides to do something, he finds a way to make it happen. On that late summer evening back in 1996 with a refrigerator in between us, I knew he was the one for me.

This picture was taken a few days after we were engaged

Today we celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary. We'll be celebrating our big day on the practice field tonight with 17 boys who are trying to grasp the game of football. R on the field, me on the sidelines. This weekend we will go out to eat, I'll probably remind him of those first few days, of his persistence and my resistance and he'll joke about how the last 15 years seem like 150 (he thinks he's funny.)

Our wedding ~ September 6, 1997

I truly believe I married the man God put on this earth for me. We're not perfect, we drive each other crazy alot of the time but we have built a life together and I am so thankful for that.

Here's to many more years of marital bliss...I love you R.

What Makes Your Heart Sing ~

Lately I've really been trying to focus in and narrow down what makes me happy. This may sound a little self serving, but who doesn't desire to live a happy, fulfilled life. I have lived most of my life in hobby overload mode. The first craft I remember growing up was rug hooking. I think my mom still has that awful thing. As a family we crafted. I remember having a garage sale and my parents spent the money we made on a scroll saw. My dad cut the wood pieces and us girls painted. I still decorate with some of the Halloween pieces we made that Fall. I remember listening to a Focus on the Family episode before R and I got married that encouraged wives to have friends and hobbies outside of their relationship with their husband. The show reinforced the fact that a spouse, whether it's the husband or wife, cannot provide all the happiness for the other. I decided when we got married that I would not put that kind of pressure on my man. I soon became a scrapbooker and quilter. I took a tole painting class and became a painter. I still have the basket I made in a basket weaving class (I am not kidding.) I am a needle worker and let's not forget phone talker. :) I helped to start a scrapbook club that quickly grew to 50 members ~ bingo ~ friends with lots in common. These ladies were there for me through the loss of our first baby, many of which came to her graveside service. I met one of my dearest friends through selling rubber stamps and scrapbook supplies at home parties. As soon as R was born I took up photography and have since really established a passion for my Canon Rebel.

Over the years I have tried to narrow it down a bit. I still have my sewing machine and my little bag with an ongoing  redwork project, I've dabbled in soldering charms and painting Toms but my favorite right now is my camera, my trusty laptop and Photoshop software. Digi scrapping makes me happy and I love my blog. I think everyone should have a place to record their stories; even if you don't want to share them with the world, keep it private and go back to it someday and remember.

Yesterday I realized I didn't have all my photos backed up on both external hard drives, so I've been working on getting that done. It never fails when I do this maintenance stuff I get sidetracked and open files I haven't opened in a while...

Here they are ~ my little loves...5 and 2 lying on a rug in a house we don't live in anymore staring at our cat we don't have anymore. I love this picture. I love the memories it brings back. I miss the house, the cat and the little people who have been replaced by a 10 and 7 year old who most of the time are way too big for their britches. I could spend days going through old photos and old memories and someday I will, but for now I will try to keep up with the present and move forward in my storytelling and learning about all things digital. As long as my memories are backed up and I can revisit them from time to time, I'm good.

Back to being happy...do it! Go find something you enjoy and make time for it. Schedule it in on the calendar. And if you decide digital scrapbooking makes your heart sing, let me know. I would love to hang out and discuss all things digi. :)

Be Happy ~

A Crafty Little Project ~

So when I started seeing pictures popping up on Facebook of these super cute Toms that had been painted in school colors, the first thing I thought was, "I can do that!" I've been this way my entire life. Pretty sure I get it from my dad who is a big 'do it yourselfer.' I am a crafter's worst nightmare. Back when I used to go to craft shows, I would spend all my time saying, "I can do that," or, "I could make that myself." I usually left those shows empty handed but my mind was full of all sorts of ideas.

A few days before school started I ordered a plain pair of cream colored Toms for K and headed to town to load up on all the supplies I would need. I did a Google search on how to paint Toms and came up with a few sites, but none were all that helpful.

I have to admit I was a little nervous putting the paint brush to the shoes, but once I got going (with my music in the background) I felt like my old crafting self again. I have to admit I cheated a little and looked at a friend's Facebook page and got a few ideas of things to put on the shoes. I love it when I find out I have crafty friends and didn't even know it. :) If you're reading this you, you know who you are. Good luck with your new business and thanks for the inspiration!

Here they are ~ K loved them and was so proud to wear them Friday with her cheerleading suit.

This Side of Heaven ~

The post I had planned for today will have to wait. I have other thoughts I need to get out there...

Yesterday evening I got a text from a friend telling me I needed to check Facebook. Almost instantly after opening the app my heart sank. One of K's sweet little friend's mom, who was 7 months along in her pregnancy with a little girl they had already named Ally, had posted the worst news that a mommy can post. The baby's heart had stopped beating.

I wanted more than anything to jump in my car and go to them. Hug the family. Pray with the family. Most of all let them know I was there for them. I wanted them to know my regrets of not dressing my baby before they took her away from me and not taking more pictures with a really good camera. Whenever I hear of a family losing a baby, my heart breaks a little, but when it's someone I know personally, someone I see on a daily basis, I feel the need to do more.

The death of a baby is something that each family deals with differently. I cried for months; some moms don't. Some families can accept it knowing it's God's will for them and move on pretty quickly; not me, I questioned our fate, I asked "why." I knew God had a plan; I believed in His love for our family, but I still wanted to know why.

Now that we are 12 years removed from our grief, I look at the two other children we have been blessed with and know His plan is perfect, but in the first raw moments off loss the days looked pretty dark. I remember thinking I was going to have to live out the rest of my days missing my baby girl. I was not looking forward to this. I didn't want to leave the hospital because that meant leaving her behind although I knew she wasn't really there. I didn't have other children to go home to at the time. Our home and our arms were empty. I really didn't know how I would make it that long without seeing her again or holding her in my arms. Then there came a day when I could actually thank God for the experience. I'm anticipating a beautiful reunion one of these days and besides seeing Jesus face to face, the thought of seeing Christen is something I'm so looking forward to.

I think of her everyday. I miss her everyday. I wonder what she looks like. I wonder what her voice sounds like. I wonder if she likes to sing like me.

Here is K with Ally's big sister. Who knew 3 months ago that these two girls would share a heavenly bond.
I've talked with K and told her that L would be very sad and that she needs to give her a hug the next time she sees her. I'm hoping that when the time comes these two friends can talk about how they both have sweet sisters playing in Heaven.

There are so many things that happen here on earth that we do not understand. There are questions that will never be answered this side of Heaven. My heart knows that our heavenly Father's plan is perfect and by the time we get to where we're going and can ask the hard questions, the answers won't matter anymore...